Wow wow wow. My mind is blown, again!
Yesterday I joined a cacao ceremony in London with hand healing and sound healing.
This combination was M-A-G-I-C-A-L.
I almost felt as glowing as a lightbulb as when I left my silent retreat and I LOVE IT.

So just to start with the conclusion of this all. This is literally what I want. Like this is how I want to feel, this is how I want to live my life. I want to be surrounded by this. Surrounded by people who want to connect, want to feel closer to themselves, want to open their heart, are open for spirituality.
To just shout my f*cking dream (some people would say: don’t share your dreams before it gets form, but I think the more you say it out loud the quicker it might become reality, law of attractionnnn):
I would love to facilitate my own sharing circles or sessions. To create my own community. To have my own retreat center one day? I would LOVE it! If I could live like this all day every day and take other people on my journey. I would absolutely love it.

One of the other participants shared at the end of the ceremony: “This is so incredibly valuable. We’re all on ourselves at home, working on ourselves, healing, trying to get healthy mentally etcetera. But it’s so amazing to come together with strangers and connect like this. To come together every now and then and heal together.”

And I thought YES YES YES. Well, THAT. Exactly that! That’s it. Like you are always in your own little bubble, with your own personal struggles. Which is fine. But when you come together with a group of people you realize: Everyone has their struggles. And then you can lift each other up and support each other, even without saying that much to each other in this case. More as lowkey therapy. Healing! Switching our busy busy busy busy minds off. Yes please, more of that.
Just by being surrounded by likeminded people, by lifting up the energy and feeling connected for a few hours, or days or weeks. Depending on the length of a session or ceremony or retreat or how you want to call it. And then you walk out as a glowing lightbulb, ready to continue your own process again.

So, this session was “just” a Sunday afternoon. A three-hour long session though, hosted by Naomi Buff. I chose this session mostly because of the cacao. Since I did some ceremonies in Mexico I love it and since I have a dream to host sharing circles myself, I want to know more and more and more and more.
So since I’m in England I’ve been looking up cacao ceremonies and even though I was hesitant at first (it costs money, I will be away from my boyfriend even though we can’t spend that much time… bla bla all that mind-Harry-inner-critic stuff again), I decided to listen to my gut and go!

I never did sound healing before, so I was really curious about that as well.
The funny thing was that literally the day I decided to go to this ceremony, my silent retreat buddy told me: “I want to learn more about sound healing!”
So I was like: What the f*ck! Is this a sign!? I love those coincidences. “Coincidances”. Is it though? 😉

Anyway. So, I went to this ceremony in London. Naomi has an extremely good and powerful energy. She’s so welcoming and smiley and she just shines positivity and wholesomeness. I love it.
We started with picking up three wisdom cards and find our place in the room set up with yoga mats, pillows and eye masks for everyone.
The cacao was so tasty. I am going to steal her recipe for sure. 😉
We all had to set our intention for the ceremony and speak it out loud.
The ceremony was at a perfect timing, because it was on the day of the full moon.
When I was in Guatemala, me and a travel friend started to focus on the full moon and how we were feeling around that time. We both had the feeling we were always restless around the full moon. Maybe not really a “coincidance”, the moon has so much influence on us because we exist off like… 80% water. It must have effect on us in a way.
The full moon is supposed to be a good time to reflect on where you stand in life, to see what is holding you back to flourish in life, what is no longer serving you and to let go of that. And a cacao ceremony is a perfect ritual to support that. And this full moon was in LEO, and I’m a Leo so, great 😉.  Naomi’s assistant told us more about it, which was quite interesting.

After setting the intention, the whole point of the ceremony was: Let Lady Cacao take you where she wants to take you.
It’s not like a psychedelic by the way, it just opens your heart and makes you more active. Like coffee, but more subtle and natural. Not with a high that follows a low so that you want more.

Cacao as a plant medicine just makes you feel buzzing, more sensitive and alive.
We all had to lie down on our mats and Naomi gave us a really nice manifestation meditation to start with. I felt my heart beat very strong because of the cacao. I felt strong and alive!
During this meditation I really managed to create a vision in my head of how I would like to see my life at the moment. It actually gave me flashbacks to how I felt in the silent retreat and how I felt in the community I volunteered at, where I did another retreat with different sessions. That’s where my love for cacao started actually.

Lying on that yoga mat I already realized: I feel the same again. This is it. This is how I want to feel. I could see myself in nature. I was dreaming of a community where I could improve my skills of meditation, yoga, other spiritual stuff…
I remembered that I told myself recently: Oh yeah, I might do another retreat or follow a yoga or meditation course or something like that at the end of the year.
But then I started thinking: Why would I wait for the end of the year? Why would I not find a community or course NOW. In the next few months.
I always care about money. That’s why I’m still forcing myself at the moment to find some sort of a job.
I try to make it not my main focus, because it’s clearly not what I need at the moment if I would listen to my body, but it’s always in the back of my head. But if I would think about paying for another retreat or a temporary community, then all of a sudden I don’t care that much about money anymore.
Because apparently that is what I really want. So, then all the barriers don’t really care that much anymore. If I give my thinking mind a break… because give it 5 seconds and Harry creates the barriers again. Luckily cacao opens your heart and let you dream a bit more freely, without those barriers.
And while Naomi was saying: “See your limiting beliefs as a piece of paper that you can just break easily with your hand”, I was thinking: Who am I kidding?? Myself really.

Next part. Sound healing. Still lying down on the mat with an eye mask on, so completely in yourself.
The sound healing was mostly meant to hold on to this “high vibration” of your dream and to integrate it into your body. What she is doing is making high vibrational sounds with gongs and singing bowls.
Wow, what an experience!
It’s definitely the right name for it: sound bath. It literally feels as if you’re floating in a bath of sound.
I mean, we all know the magic of music. Music can make us happy, make us emotional, music is healing us in a way. This experience was amazing.
I didn’t expect to get só inspired this session. I mean, duh, maybe I should have known, because I just love it. I can’t help it, haha.

So, to finish: remember we had to take three wisdom cards in the beginning. One of them was the “Adjustment” card, which said:

“These card marks a pause in your energy, a time to contemplate what you’ve been doing and determine if any changes would prove beneficial. Reflection and course correction now are wiser than charging full steam ahead. Review your previous choices to determine what has worked for you. Look ahead to see what changes can accelerate your plans’ fruition.”

With the affirmation linked to it:

“It is safe for me to stop and reconsider my path and process. I am patient and courageous in the choices and changes I make.”

The message I definitely get out of this card:
I am in England now and of course I’m integrating some bits I learned, like doing my daily meditation, yoga, still reading lots of books and listening to podcasts for inspiration, joining a ceremony every now and then. But next to that I’m still in a kind of “old pattern”. Secretly, in the back of my mind I try to force myself to look online for jobs to get more money ASAP. Even though the reality is that I don’t need money ASAP, like there’s no risk of having zero money soon. But I start to think about the future and how expensive everything is. And then I start to be scared and act of panic. Ok well I’m probably going to tell this pattern and story lots of times, I’ve mentioned them before in my Brainwaves. It’s a strong one.
Next to that I’m also realizing: Ok, ok, I might want to do something with coaching or ceremonies, etcetera. But that also gives me some sort of pressure, as if I should create a business out of it and have the answer tomorrow. ASAP. It’s all rush and thinking in a mentality of scarcity and impatience.

So take a step back, like the card says. Pause. Stop the time. 🙂
If I would pause for a second and look at my situation. What has worked in the past is clearly: doing that silent retreat and helping at the community, continuing with travelling.
So actually, just listening to my intuition, my “WOOH LET’S GO” feeling!
Instead of following my Harry, who is saying: “Well yeah Hansie maybe you should be more responsible and don’t take that many risks. Just choose a job even though you don’t like it that much and earn money. That will keep you happy and shut you up, because money = security.” Thinking that I HAVE to do things, forced in a way. Not out of FUN and EASE.

NO. Everything in my situation shouts: Hansie, you are in the perfect situation to keep going on with your search, your exploration, your life experimenting rollercoaster. So, DIVE into your passion completely NOW. ASAP, haha. Don’t think about the money and about having a solution now, don’t wait till the end of the year. Just explore more of what you want NOW.
Pepper in my ass! As we would say in Dutch. I love that expression. Don’t waste any more time, go for it.

So dear people, maybe you can help me. I am looking for a community or a course to explore more of my fascinations. I want to go to a location and get immersed in it.
To be surrounded by likeminded people, so I get more confidence in following my dream.
If you have any suggestions, please let me know! I would appreciate.
So that one day I can create my own community and help people feeling like a glowing lightbulb as well. 🙂

Let’s hope I can stay in this high vibrations and MANIFEST SOME SH*T!

If you prefer to listen, you can listen to my Brainwaves, here: